Dear Mocha,
I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. The past year has been shit. I found out he cheating on me and when he got caught his said. "I'm a man. What do you expect"
So I left him. He doesn't care about me. Then two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.
I wasn't going to tell him but I feel he should know. Now he wants to get back together.
One side of me wants to have a solid family foundation for the baby but I know he won't be faithful and I'll always be questioning when he goes to the store or anywhere else.
Should I keep my family together or be a single parent?
Dear New Mom,
1st congrats on the life you are about to bring into the world.
My answer is simple, babies do NOT hold families together and they certainly don't stop men from cheating.
Children also pick up on dissension.
You don't have to be a single parent. You two can co-parent in separate homes.
He may be a GREAT father even if he sucked as a boyfriend.
All that matters is that he is there for the child.
I wish you the best of luck.
Mocha
Dear New Mom,
Damn.. That's wild crazy.. But in your case you may want him more than the family.. And just because you're prego doesn't mean its gonna change how he feels about you, especially since he stated that he is a man "so what do you expect".. Do what you have to for your child cause the guy you dealing with is obviously selfish as shit.
Monday, January 2, 2012
Devastated
Dear Mocha,
After Christmas I was cleaning. I found a present. I was excited when I found a diamond tennis bracelet, because my boyfriend had already done so much for myself and our 3 children.
My heart stopped and my world collapsed when I read the attached card.
It was addressed to someone else. It spoke of his undying love for this woman he's been seeing for the past 5yrs. (We have been together for 7.) The card says that he is sorry that they can't be together the way he wants due to his "situation".
I can't stop crying. I thought we were happy. There was no indication that anything was wrong. He comes home every night. He takes care of me financially, physically, and mentally.
I work and take care of he and our children. I'm devastated. We have 3 kids. We have a house and 2 cars. He makes way more than I do.
I don't know what to do. Do I leave or do I stay? How could he be laying with me every night and loving someone else?
He'll be home from work in a few hours. I don't know what to do.
Please help.
Devastated
Dear Devastated,
My heart aches for you. There's no pill harder to swallow than thinking u are taking care of home and giving your all but your man STILL cheats.
There are so many different angles and questions to be answered.
I wonder why would he leave it in the house where you could find it? If this relationship has been going on 5yrs w/o your knowledge, he has been careful. Did he leave this bracelet where u could find it, on purpose? Perhaps he wants to end it but can't bring himself to do so, so he left that for you to see so that YOU could break it off.
Or he expects you to flip so he can reverse it turn it into a trust thing, accuse you of snooping and say it's over.
The reality is, you have two choices, you can leave or you can stay.
You need to take your time and think about this from every angle. Don't make any decisions while you're so upset.
Is cheating your "deal breaker".
Are you ready to move on with your life without him?
I notice you mentioned the financial aspect but you never said that you love him. Do you? Or are you just comfortable?
If you stay, will you be able to forgive him? I can't tell you if you shld leave or stay but I will say, talk to him. Figure it out together. Whether you decide to leave or to stay, no one can judge you for the decisions you make for your family.
After Christmas I was cleaning. I found a present. I was excited when I found a diamond tennis bracelet, because my boyfriend had already done so much for myself and our 3 children.
My heart stopped and my world collapsed when I read the attached card.
It was addressed to someone else. It spoke of his undying love for this woman he's been seeing for the past 5yrs. (We have been together for 7.) The card says that he is sorry that they can't be together the way he wants due to his "situation".
I can't stop crying. I thought we were happy. There was no indication that anything was wrong. He comes home every night. He takes care of me financially, physically, and mentally.
I work and take care of he and our children. I'm devastated. We have 3 kids. We have a house and 2 cars. He makes way more than I do.
I don't know what to do. Do I leave or do I stay? How could he be laying with me every night and loving someone else?
He'll be home from work in a few hours. I don't know what to do.
Please help.
Devastated
Dear Devastated,
My heart aches for you. There's no pill harder to swallow than thinking u are taking care of home and giving your all but your man STILL cheats.
There are so many different angles and questions to be answered.
I wonder why would he leave it in the house where you could find it? If this relationship has been going on 5yrs w/o your knowledge, he has been careful. Did he leave this bracelet where u could find it, on purpose? Perhaps he wants to end it but can't bring himself to do so, so he left that for you to see so that YOU could break it off.
Or he expects you to flip so he can reverse it turn it into a trust thing, accuse you of snooping and say it's over.
The reality is, you have two choices, you can leave or you can stay.
You need to take your time and think about this from every angle. Don't make any decisions while you're so upset.
Is cheating your "deal breaker".
Are you ready to move on with your life without him?
I notice you mentioned the financial aspect but you never said that you love him. Do you? Or are you just comfortable?
If you stay, will you be able to forgive him? I can't tell you if you shld leave or stay but I will say, talk to him. Figure it out together. Whether you decide to leave or to stay, no one can judge you for the decisions you make for your family.
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