Jilted Sister: My younger brother brought his fiancée for the family to meet. She's white. He's a college educated black man and has only dated non black girls. Hispanic, white, Asian. I was insulted and made sure they knew it. Your grandmother is black. Your mother is black. I'M black! Are you too good to date your own kind? I called him an Uncle Tom. I want him to find a good black girl. Needless to say, he's upset with me and we haven't spoken in over a month. He won't return my calls. I don't want to lose my little brother but I hate when good black men crossover. What do I do?
Mocha: Why does it bother you so much that she's not black? If he's only ever dated outside of black why is it bothering you so much NOW? Do you think your reaction helped at all in convincing him to date a black woman? Have you ever asked him, BEFORE, why he only dates women that aren’t black?
Most people want to say there is a deep rooted self hate and that's why people date outside their ethnicity but let's face it, everyone has a preference. If he only dated heavy women, or older women, would you have a problem?
Perhaps you should be happy he's found love and is taking it to the next level rather than focusing on her skin color. Find out what made her good enough to marry. Don't look at it as losing your brother but gaining a sister.
Remember that love has no color and ones happiness is the ultimate goal.
Take them both to lunch or dinner and apologize for your behavior. Take the opportunity to get to know the woman beyond her skin color.
Mocha: Why does it bother you so much that she's not black? If he's only ever dated outside of black why is it bothering you so much NOW? Do you think your reaction helped at all in convincing him to date a black woman? Have you ever asked him, BEFORE, why he only dates women that aren’t black?
Most people want to say there is a deep rooted self hate and that's why people date outside their ethnicity but let's face it, everyone has a preference. If he only dated heavy women, or older women, would you have a problem?
Perhaps you should be happy he's found love and is taking it to the next level rather than focusing on her skin color. Find out what made her good enough to marry. Don't look at it as losing your brother but gaining a sister.
Remember that love has no color and ones happiness is the ultimate goal.
Take them both to lunch or dinner and apologize for your behavior. Take the opportunity to get to know the woman beyond her skin color.
Young Yabb: Well you gotta get out of those slave days first. Its 2011 black men aren't getting killed like Emmet Till anymore. Secondly your brother hasn't crossed over at all if he has never dated any black women. As a grown woman you should have taken his fiancée in open arms because your younger brother must have found someone who truly makes him happy and that's why he proposed to her. The third thing you need to do is apologize to her first and explain your reasons for being mad. Making things right with her will make things right with your brother. Honestly it doesn't matter what ethnicity you are when it comes to who you fall in love with. Love only has one color and that's red. Red being the blood that runs through two partners bodies. You should want your baby brother to be happy despite the fact that he is with a white girl.
To a degree, I agree with the sister..
ReplyDeleteWHY? Dating outside your race is one thing. Why marry outside your race without even TRYING a Black woman. Not all women are full of nonsense that has "turned him off"